"Sex in the 'Ville"
Relationship Advice Column
Issue date: 11/19/08 Section: Features
By Tara Carr and Nicole Haskins
Rotunda Reporters
Before my boyfriend and I started dating he and his roommate had planned to have a couple of female friends over. I was going to join him, but I have to go home for the weekend. I am feeling uncomfortable about the situation; how should I handle this?
A new relationship is difficult and fragile, but the most important thing to remember is to be honest with yourself and with your boyfriend. Address the reason for your discomfort and calmly explain your feelings. This beginning stage of your relationship is a critical time in which you have the opportunity to let him know more about you, your feelings and what is important to you. Be honest, but also realize that if you and he are to continue with a strong relationship it is important to build it on trust.
Another key thing to remember…don’t sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, how much will this one weekend affect your relationship with your boyfriend? In this wonderful thing called love we must learn to choose our battles because it’s all about compromise – give and take.
“Listen” and “Silent” are coincidently spelled with the same letters, so don’t forget to do both and perhaps take some time to hear him out. It seems to me as if this is an innocent situation where he and his roommate had plans to make accommodations for high school friends long before he met you, so if he truly loves and respects you you should have nothing to worry about.
And as for the boyfriend, try to listen and understand why she’s upset. It is important to validate her feelings and convey that you understand what she needs in order to feel loved.
Rotunda Reporters
Before my boyfriend and I started dating he and his roommate had planned to have a couple of female friends over. I was going to join him, but I have to go home for the weekend. I am feeling uncomfortable about the situation; how should I handle this?
A new relationship is difficult and fragile, but the most important thing to remember is to be honest with yourself and with your boyfriend. Address the reason for your discomfort and calmly explain your feelings. This beginning stage of your relationship is a critical time in which you have the opportunity to let him know more about you, your feelings and what is important to you. Be honest, but also realize that if you and he are to continue with a strong relationship it is important to build it on trust.
Another key thing to remember…don’t sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, how much will this one weekend affect your relationship with your boyfriend? In this wonderful thing called love we must learn to choose our battles because it’s all about compromise – give and take.
“Listen” and “Silent” are coincidently spelled with the same letters, so don’t forget to do both and perhaps take some time to hear him out. It seems to me as if this is an innocent situation where he and his roommate had plans to make accommodations for high school friends long before he met you, so if he truly loves and respects you you should have nothing to worry about.
And as for the boyfriend, try to listen and understand why she’s upset. It is important to validate her feelings and convey that you understand what she needs in order to feel loved.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
Dina
posted 11/19/08 @ 1:22 PM EST
Tara and Nicole,
This was a wonderful start to your advice column. So many times we have questions about our relationships but we get so tired of asking our friends around us because we feel they may judge us and get tired of us going on and on about our love charades. (Continued…)
Roberta Collier
posted 11/21/08 @ 4:55 PM EST
Okay I have been friends with a dude since third grade. He told me that he has feelings for me; then he got in a relationship. I have told him that I think of him as a lil' brother, but he does not get it. (Continued…)
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